I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
