You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
