You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
