That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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