Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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