Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You were trust falling into bushes
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
