I cockslap morals
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
