he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
