i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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