Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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