My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
where are you?
Hypothermia
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Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
this hospital has no fireball
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