is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
