I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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