yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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