Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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