Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
