She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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