I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
