I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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