I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
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The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize