May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Every concussion has its silver lining
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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