just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
