There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dear god my vagina.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
