I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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