So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
