i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
