You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
