were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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