meet me or not, i'm out of control
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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