At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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