There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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