How'd it feel making her break her religion?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
