I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
