i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The air taste purple.
Randomize
