I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
