I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Randomize
