I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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