I'm going to jail i love you
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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