fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
