I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
