Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
