i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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