My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Quick, to the slutcave!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
