When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
