dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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