I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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