I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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