It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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