I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
