While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
