My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
