hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
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What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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