She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
