ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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