i jhust puked up my retainher.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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