I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
