so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
