Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
