were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
