I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
