the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
