I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
